Friday, February 5, 2010

Double-C 4

Religious fundamentalism is like a late-night infomercial: appealing to people who are groggy with lack of sleep, angry at the state of their life, and convinced that some useless gadget will make it better. In the case of Al-Qaida,it seems that gadget might be boobs. Recent intelligence chatter gathered by the United States and Britain's MI-5 indicates that Al-Qaida is certain to launch another attack on US soil in 2010; more specifically, that radical Muslim doctors trained in the UK have returned to their respective countries to fit teen female suicide bombers with explosive breast implants. In what counts for suffrage in the Middle East, it seems detonating yourself into oblivion is no longer a man's game. Given the inveterate horndogs that men are, it may prove to be terrorism's master stroke to turn our own vices against us. (I doubt American men would notice a sudden influx of Pakistani hookers.) Of all the weird things women scream during sex, "death to the infidels" probably isn't even in the top ten. In the interest of gender equality, similar surgery has been performed on male suicide bombers. In their cases, the explosives are most frequently inserted into the buttocks. With all due respect to Taco Bell, if your last living act is blowing your ass out, you've earned your share of virgins.


Anonymous said...

That is bizzare people would want to strap themselves with bombs on their bodies. Why anyone would want to mess themselves up physically is beyond me.

You are right on the informerical comparison. People don't think when they make decisions during their sleepyness. Be aware of what you end up getting involved in before making the decision is what I say.

Keith said...

the taco bell reference was tear-jerking.