Monday, February 23, 2009

Does The Red Carpet Match The Drapes?

It must suck to work for E! Television at the Academy Awards. Their correspondents have to treat every celebrity utterance like it's the historical equivalent of the Zimmermann Note AND they have to work on "shows" developed by Ryan Seacrest. (For maximum absurdity, they put a PRE-Red Carpet coverage clock in the corner of the screen- "Countdown To Lisa Rinna & Joey Fatone". If only it was the kind of countdown that culminated in a detonation.)

As for The Oscars themselves? Slumdog Millionaire wins Best Picture, Robert Downey, Jr. loses to a dead guy, and Wolverine dances. You're welcome.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I look forward to the E! commentary. Why must you criticize every thing Alan? You are seem to be a very bitter individual.

Anonymous said...

Correction: everything.

Anonymous said...

As if your mullet wasn't bad enough, and probably the leading cause of the Joe Dirt like similarities that led to your ridiculous reaching in obvious attempts to make yourself look deep and historically fluent, by referencing the Zimmerman note. WOW. You stumped the band now. Anyway, your attempts to entertain your mom and blatant attempts to impress your uneasily impressed father bring out so loudly that even the novice can't help but cringe and scream..."for the love of God, Alan seek counseling!" Megalomaniacal perhaps, midwest moron for certain and a blog page to boot. Unbelievably pathetic.

Bob T said...

Wow, anon needs to chill out. Hollywood self-fellatio is always a good target for scorn.