Thursday, March 12, 2009

Just Say No. Unless...

Government is certainly of the people and by the people. (I'll let you debate whether or not it's for the people, anymore.) We all know that government and the people don't see eye-to-glassy eye on marijuana. The people destigmatized pot a long time ago (when your Grandma smokes the "demon weed", it's jumped the shark) but government still clings to its anachronistic, Reefer Madness view of the subject. But it's never been about public health; it's been about money. The FDA doesn't want to compete with marijuana because it will get stomped.

Now that the country is in the financial shitter, California is treating pot like an ugly girl at last call- suddenly it's looking very attractive. For the NORML crowd, it's a case of "be careful what you wish for"- legalizing pot would probably be a financial boon for any state, but having it under government control would also be the worst thing to happen to pot since Wet. Do we really want to go from the ease of buying a dime bag of knockout Haitian Lamb's Breath from your neighbor to filling out forms in triplicate and getting overtaxed on whatever bag of seeds the state decides to overcharge you for? Desperate times call for desperate measures (like an eighth).

It will never happen, of course. Still, it would be a beautiful irony if marijuana was the savior of the economy.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

TROLL BLOGSPOT.COM
SOILED TASKS PERFORMED FOR VERY SMALL AMOUNTS-YATTA YATTA
BACK IN BLACK, OR I MEAN , RETURNED IN A DARK COLOR.
ANYWAY,
"JUST SAY ZIMMERMAN LETTER...UNLESS"
HERE I AM AGAIN ,THE REAL TROLL. GIRL, BOY, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ALAN, OR I MEAN VIRGIN MARY.
YOU KNOW ME AND I'VE BEEN OBVIOUS AND THE REASON I DON'T USE MY NAME IS THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH YOU. BUT YOU KNOW ME. UNLESS ALL THAT TIME SEEING EACH OTHER EVERYDAY YOU TOTALLY IGNORED EVERYTHING I EVER SAID. I'M 42, JEWISH, MARRIED, 5 KIDS, BLACK HAIR, AND I RESIDE IN ROUND LAKE BEACH IL. AND I MOVED HERE FROM TEMPE ARIZONA. DOES THAT SPELL IT OUT ENOUGH YOU ET FINGER SPORTING MULLET KING!!!!
NOW THAT WE ARE PASSED MY GENDER, LET'S MOVE ON.
O.K. VIRGIN MARY, OR I MEAN ALAN, TOO SCARED TO USE HIS OWN NAME ON HIS OWN BLOG-SITE, BUY WEED FROM YOUR NEIGHBOR. AND JEN, I DID NOT IMPERSONATE YOU AND O.K. ALAN IS 38. WOW! HE CAN DO A MIDDLE-AGED MALE VOICE AND HE IS A MIDDLE AGED MALE! NOW THAT'S TALENT!-NEXT!

Anonymous said...

SO ANYWAY,
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO PITTSBURG AND I'M SURE IT'S LOVELY. I CAN JUST PICTURE ALAN PUFFING OUT HIS CHEST, BATTING HIS EYE LASHES AND SAYING, "I DON'T THINK I LOOK THAT MUCH LIKE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, DO YOU REALLY THINK SO?", AS HE TILTS HIS HEAD IN HIS MOST TIMBERLAKE-LIKE POSE.
O.K. ALPHA-DOG, GLAD YOU WERE SUCH A STUD IN PITTSBURG. PLEASE CORRECT MY SPELLING ANYTIME JEN, (THE REAL JEN, NOT THE FAKE ONE).
JUST SAY MULLET.....UNLESS

Anonymous said...

OK, well, here is the deal. I never met Alan, though I used to want to. Then I met a real hot guy who fell in love with me. :-) So I got over Mr. Cox while still admiring his brain, except for the part where he gets high. That's just stupid. What can I say? In any case, the only thing I will correct is the peeve of mine, that Pittsburgh has an "H" on the end. Personally I think it's part of a city-wide inferiority complex, that we have to be different. But then again, even though I live here, I am from WV. So I don't have an affinity for sausages, pierogies, or Steelers. Also, I don't speak with the ugly Pittsburgh accent. It makes people sound so stupid. Sorry, I am rambling.

One question: why the hell did you have FIVE kids? Yeesh.

the real Jen, really.

Anonymous said...

WHY 5 KIDS? BECAUSE CHILDREN ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE. THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. AND YOU CAN ONLY KNOW THAT ONCE YOU'VE DONE IT. I DID NOT BELIEVE THAT UNTIL I DID. ANYWAY, YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT REAL JOY UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS. IT'S THE BEST. NOT THAT MULLET-BOY WILL EVER FEEL THAT JOY AS HE SUFFERS LIVING HIS EMOTIONALLY IMPOVERISHED NOTHINGNESS. REMINDS ME OF WHEN I WAS ON HIS LEVEL. YUCK!!!!!
HE'S PROBABLY PRO-CHOICE TOO. EASIER THAT WAY. AS LONG AS HE GETS HIS MALE SATISFACTION WHO CARES? SMOKE ONE AND FORGET IT. RIGHT MULLET BOY (VIRGIN MARY YEAH RIGHT)
TROLL GIRL WITH A CAPITAL MAMA HAS SPOKEN-
P.S. I BET HE PLAYS VIDEO GAMES TOO.

Anonymous said...

Just keep talkin'.....Alan has at least 2 beautiful kids. And of course he's pro-choice, as that is the only intelligent way to be. Anti-choice nutballs want to tell me what to do with my body? I think not. It's unConstitutional. And BEFORE YOU GET STARTED ON ME, I've never had an abortion. If I wanted one I'd've gotten one, though, so butt out of my reproductive life. I got a hysterectomy instead. Best thing ever!

Kids are not the most important things in life. They're a part of life. Excuse me if I want to do more with my life than be an incubator.

If you're complaining about Alan not listening to things you said, does that mean you knew him? And if so, didn't you not listen to anything HE said, if you don't know roughly how old he is, whether he has kids, what his political view are? Pot-kettle-black??

Real Jen in PGH

Jennifer said...

Real Jen in PGH is going to use her Google account to make sure no one impersonates me.

Anonymous said...

WOW! YOU SEEM SO SURE YOU ARE RIGHT. AND YET YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE BABY. TYPICAL.I DON'T CARE ABOUT BUTTING INTO YOUR REPRODUCTIVE LIFE, JUST YOUR BABY'S CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO LIFE. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S NOT YOUR BABY'S FAULT THAT YOU DECIDED TO TAKE ALL THE NECESSARY STEPS TO CONCEIVE HIM OR HER AND YOUR BABY DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE IN BEING
CREATED. AND TO BE FAIR I THINK YOU NEED TO LET YOUR BABY REACH 18 YEARS OF AGE AND LET YOUR BABY DECIDE IF THEY WANT TO BE ABORTED. JUST SAY, "O.K., IT'S YOUR 18TH BIRTHDAY AND YOU ARE NOW AN ADULT, WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DISMEMBERED AND THROWN IN A DUMPSTER?" WHY AGE DESCRIMINATE AGAINST AN UNBORN BABY? MURDER HIM OR HER WITHOUT THEIR CONCENT? DOESN'T SUPRISE ME THOUGH, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER HAD CHILDREN SO YOU CAN'T SEE ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF. WHICH IS WHY YOUR MIXED UP AND IMMATURE LITTLE OPINION DOESN'T COUNT. TOO BAD THE MAJORITY ARE INCOMPLETE THINKING MORONS LIKE YOU. THAT'S WHY OUR COUNTRY IS GOING DOWN THE TUBES. ARE YOU GONNA START MURDERING THE ELDERLY TOO? GEE, GRANDMA IS HARD TO LOOK OUT FOR, LET'S RIP HER ARMS AND LEG'S OFF, CRUSH HER HEAD, AND THROW HER IN A DUMPSTER! THEN JEN CAN WATCH MORE MTV. I SAY, AS A JEWISH, PRO-LIFE, FEMINIST, EAQUAL RIGHTS FOR UNBORN WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!! BUT YEAH, YOU ARE VERY INTELLIGENT AND I'M A NUT. MAKES ALOT OF SENCE, OR IS IT SENSE??????
TROLL GIRL POWER!

Jennifer said...

You aren't a Feminist. Feminists respect the choices of adult women to make their own decisions. And quit shouting.....

I'm done talking to you, as you are obviously a religious nutjob. As if there were other kinds?!

Anonymous said...

TROLLBLOG SPOT.COM
HADES RINGING OBJECTS
JUST SAY MURDER.UNLESS...
OH, AND BY THE WAY,( OFCORSE OR IS IT OFCOARSE )WILL THE REAL SLIM JEN, PLEASE STAND UP, PLEASE STAND UP!-ANYWAY, OFCOURSE I KNEW ALAN. I WORKED IN THE SAME BUILDING AS HIM IN CHICAGO. WAKE UP AND CATCH UP! SHEESH! 2 KIDS? NEVER HEARD OF THEM. DOUBT HE RAISES THEM. IF HE DID HE WOULDN'T HAVE TIME OR MONEY TO BUY WEED FROM HIS NEIGHBOR. 38 AND STILL SMOKES WEED. THAT EXPLAINS WHY HIS ONLY TALENTS ARE HOLDING THE WORLD'S RECORD FOR PLAYING THE DRUMS THE LONGEST (25 YEARS WITHOUT STOPPING-MUST BE BUFF), AND AS A MIDDLE AGED MAN, DID YOU KNOW HE CAN IMPERSONATE A MIDDLE AGED MAN? HIRE HIM ON VOICEOVER-123. HE HAS SO MUCH TO OFFER THAT I BET HIS KIDS-IF THEY DO EXIST, DON'T EVEN LIVE IN THE SAME STATE AS HIM. AND FURTHER-MORE, HOW DID THEY SURVIVE IF HE IS SO INTELLIGENTLY PRO-CHOICE (AS THE FAKE JEN EXPLAINED ). I BET ONE OF YOU JEN'S IS ALLEN. I KNOW HE'S THE PRO-CHOICE VIRGIN MARY!
TROLL-GIRL POWER BABY!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN ABOUT MORONS! IN YOUR FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!
DID I MENTION THE ZIMMERMAN LETTER?

Anonymous said...

TRUE FEMINISTS ARE PRO-LIFE AND FIGHT FOR THE RIGHTS OF EVEN THE UNBORN WOMEN. BUT I WOULDN'T EXPECT A CHILD TO UNDERSTAND THAT.
BUT HEY, THIS ISN'T A COMMENT PAGE FOR PRO-LIFE VS. PRO-MURDER, THIS IS ABOUT ALAN'S LATEST BLOG. REMEMBER ALAN? MULLET, FROSTED HIGHLIGHTS, ET FINGER, DRUMMER BICEPS, SUPPOSEDLY 35 PLUS WITH KIDS (WHICH I CAN'T BELIEVE-YOU DO LOOK YOUNG MY VIGIN MARY EX-COLLEAUGUE)-DID I SPELL ALL THAT RIGHT BABY MURDERED? LET ME KNOW. WELL, GOTTA GO. BE BACK SOON TO HOPEFULLY KNOCK SOME SENCE INTO YOU GENERATION MORON LOSERS. EVEN IF I WASN'T JEWISH I'D BE PRO-LIFE. IT'S CALLED NOT BEING A NAZI. SEE, KILLING BABIES IS ABOUT THE MOST NAZI THING I CAN THINK OF. MY HUSBAND IS AFRICAN-AMERICAN AND RAISED BAPTIST BUT DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ALL THAT ANYMORE, AND HE SAID TO TELL YOU HE WOULDN'T MURDER A BABY IN OR OUT OF HIS WORST ENEMIE'S WOMB. WELCOME TO SANITY LITTLE GIRL. HOPE YOUR HISTORECTOMY PROTECTS YOU FROM AIDS. ANYWAY, BACK TO ALLEN'S BLOG. UM, YEAH, I AGREE. THAT'S THE TICKET. BUY IT FROM YOUR NEIGHBOR. YEAH CAUSE IT WILL NEVER BE LEGAL. DEEP POINT. I HAVEN'T READ A BLOG THAT DEEP SINCE, WELL, PROBABLY SINCE THE ZIMMERMAN BLOG, KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK.
PEACE AND LOVE,
EQUAL RIGHTS FOR UNBORN WOMEN!!!!!
VOTE REAL FREEDOM-THE FREEDOM TO BE BORN AND LIVE LIFE!!!!!
TROLL BABE-MY HUSBAND SAID CALL ME TROLL BABE FROM NOW ON.

Anonymous said...

THE TROLL-BABE AMATEUR HOUR

TROLL BLOGSPOT.COM

SHOOT TO THRILL (AC/DC)
WHICH I WILL CONVERT TO

FIRE A WEAPON TO CREATE AN EXCITED STATE

THIS NOT ONLY SHOWS MY BRILLIANCE AND VERBAL WITT BUT THAT I'M A COOL HEAVY METALLER AS WELL


AIN'T I UNIQUE?
WHAT BETTER THAN CHANGING AN AC/DC TITLE TO SHOW HOW COOL I AM?

ALAN COX, PUTTING THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL EXTREMITY IN COX.

I AM A WRITER, A CHEF , A POET, A DRUMMER, A COMEDIAN. OR WAIT, WASN'T THAT ANTHONY BOURDAIN'S INTRO? MORE COX ( COPIED) ORIGINALITY I GUESS. ANTHONY PROBABLY COPIED ALAN. YEAH, THAT'S THE TICKET. I'M SURE THAT'S WHAT IT WAS.
ANYWAY, WELCOME TO THE TROLL BABE BLOG SITE. I WAS GONNA START MY OWN, BUT WHAT THE HELL, I'LL JUST USE THIS ONE. THANKS MY MULLET ENHANCED BROTHER.
AT LEAST SOMEONE CAN WRITE ON THIS SITE. DID I MENTION THE ZIMMERMAN LETTER?
HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND. HAVE FUN BEING A DOMINANT MALE WHO IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IS VERY DOMINANT.
LOVE,
TROLL-BABE

Anonymous said...

TROLL AMATEUR HOUR

PUTTING THE RECORD IN WORLD RECORDS

I'M ON THE AVENUE WHICH LEADS TO A PLACE FULL OF BURNING SULFER

(OR HIGHWAY TO HELL TO YOU SLOW FOLKS WHO WORSHIP MULLET-BOY)

RUSS PRAEGER WAS LISTED ON THE NEWS THIS MORNING (HEADLINE NEWS)AS HOLDING THE NEW WORLD RECORD FOR PLAYING THE DRUMS FOR 109 HOURS-(CORRECT ME BABY MURDERER WANNA-BE IF I GOT THE DETAILS WRONG), AND I THOUGHT, MAN OH MAN!!! THIS IS THE WORST INJUSTICE TO MANKIND SINCE, WELL, I DON'T KNOW, SINCE, WELL, SINCE THE ZIMMERMAN LETTER!!!!! I MEAN, DON'T THESE MORONS KNOW ABOUT ALAN COX. HE PLAYED FOR 25 YEARS. CALL GUINESS QUICK AND STRAIGHTEN THIS MATTER OUT ! OH AND JEN OR WHOEVER, I'M NOT YELLING. MY CAPS LOCK IS PERMANENTLY STUCK ON. YES LADIE'S AND GENTS, MY COMPUTER IS GHETTO. ANYWAY, IF THAT'S WHAT JEN MEANT BY QUIT YELLING, OR WERE YOU REFERING TO THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD. THE TORMENTERS THAT DRIVE YOU DAILY. PLEASE, ENLIGHTEN US ALL. THERE IS MEDICATION FOR THAT YOU KNOW. YOU BEAUTIFUL YOUNG NUMB-SCULL AND INCUBATORAPHOBIC. THAT'S MY BLOG FOR TODAY. FEEL FREE TO COMMENT. WELCOME TO MY SITE. I CAN'T WAIT TIL ALPHA-DOG'S NEXT GREAT WORK. WOW, ALAN GOT TO SEE JANET JACKSON'S BREAST UP CLOSE AS HE DANCED WITH HER AT THE SUPER BOWL. OR WAIT, THAT WAS JUSTIN, I CAN'T TELL THOSE RASCALS APART.
TROLL-BABE OUT

Anonymous said...

THE TROLL PROFESSIONAL HOUR

LET THERE BE PEBBLE (AC/DC TWIST)

SO, WE ELECTED A COMMUNIST PRESIDENT WHO DESTROYED ILLINOIS WITH BIG GOVERNMENT TAX AND SPEND IDIOCEY BECAUSE HE'S HALF BLACK? I KNOW IT'S HIP TO BE BLACK NOW-A-DAYS BUT TO FOLLOW RUSSIA'S LEAD AND VOLUNTEER FOR MISERY? NOT A SMOOTH IDEA!!!!!!!!!
WHAT AM I MISSING HERE PEOPLE?

Anonymous said...

TROLL BUSINESS WATCH

ARE YOU A PRO-CHOICE VEGETARIAN WHO'S SICK OF NOT BEING ABLE TO EAT MEAT BECAUSE YOU ARE SO INTELLIGENT YOU COULD NEVER EAT A POOR DEFENSELESS ANIMAL? ARE YOU ALSO SICK OF STINKY, FLY INFESTED DUMPSTERS NEAR AND AROUND ABORTION CLINICS? AN ANSWER TO ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS HAS ARRIVED. COME CHOW DOWN WITH ME AT THE GRAND OPENING OF HANK'S 100% PURE FETUS MEAT BURRITOS AND TACOS!!!! STOP THE HARSH MISTREATMENT OF CHICKENS WITH ME! JUST MENTION TROLL BABE AND GET A FREE T-SHIRT THAT SAYS "EAT A FETUS, SAVE A COW". ARE YOU MUSLIM? WE HAVE HALAL FETUS'S TOO. JOIN ALL THE FUN AND EAT HEARTY MY FRIENDS.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED!
TROLL

Anonymous said...

AUDIO FIXATION

MUST OWN CD'S
TROLL'S PICKS
1. CAVALERA CONSPIRACY-INFLIKTED

2. BRUCE DICKINSON-ACCIDENT OF BIRTH

3. CRADLE OF FILTH- DEVIL TO THE METAL E.P.

4. JOHN FOGERTY- BLUE MOON SWAMP

5. TESLA- BUST A NUT
CHECK EM OUT TROLL FANS!

Anonymous said...

LOOK, I'VE BEEN TAKING OVER ALAN'S SITE FAR TOO LONG AND HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN AT HIS EXPENSE. ANYWAY, MY NAME IS NOT TROLL. I'M NOT FEMALE. I'M NOT MARRIED TO A MALE. HOPE EVERYONE INCLUDING ALLEN HAD FUN. NO HARD FEELINGS. I WAS JUST BEING THE DON RICKLES OF YOUR CELEBRITY ROAST IF YOU WILL. A LITTLE TOUGH LOVE AND ALOT OF LAUGHS. YOU HAVE A GREAT RADIO VOICE AND WE MISS YOU IN CHICAGO. HOPE THINGS PICK UP FOR YOU. I DO HAVE TO GIVE CREDIT TO SOME WRITERS THAT HELPED ME PULL THIS OFF. MANCOW HAD A BIG HAND IN ALL OF THIS. I HOPE WE ALL HAD FUN. YOU CAN HAVE YOUR SITE BACK NOW. NO MORE WONDERING. LOVE YOU BROTHER!
YOU'VE BEEN PUNKED.
SINCERELY,
ASHTON KUTCHER
GIVE ALAN A HAND EVERYONE.

Alan Cox said...

Holy shit. You had WRITERS for this nonsense?? Wow. FIRE all of them. Now.

I don't know Mancow, but I really doubt he'd give you the time of day. He's a busy dude.