Friday, May 29, 2009

Gut Check

It must be tough to work in research and development for a company whose product requires neither research nor development. Mass-produced foods immediately spring to mind. Pizza, for example. Once you've offered a wide array of toppings and stuffed cheese into every possible orifice, we're set. A pizza isn't complicated. Nevertheless, Domino's has Bread Bowl Pasta. It's pasta. In a bowl made of bread. People are clamoring for this? Pasta alone is a tad too light for the discerning palate? Take the noble taco: steeped in simplicity and needing no exaggeration. Nevertheless, Taco Bell has a Volcano Taco, covered in "spicy hot lava sauce". Now, I love Taco Bell. But, a delivery system for instantaneous diarrhea isn't a plus. How many more permutations of meat, cheese, and beans do they think we need? (Speaking of hot lava sauce, who really thinks toilet paper needs to constantly undergo cosmetic changes? Animated Charmin bears don't distract me from the fact that their "improvement" is a new 12-ply which is "20% more absorbent". Yuck.)

Aside from being unnecessary, these products are insulting. With everything else in our lives experiencing a seismic shift toward caution, it would be nice to see our diets follow suit. I know the mantra "less is more" is seen as vaguely French by most red-blooded Americans, but just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

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