What is with these douche nozzles who shoot their hot ex-girlfriends? If you're a balding hippie who's lucky enough to have dated above your pay grade for a few months, revel in your good fortune and accept it for what it is: college is not real life. I realize there is an entire generation of men with no relationship coping skills; guys whose idea of communication is quoting Death Cab in their Facebook status. But once she no longer finds your affinity for Sartre dazzling, she'll move on and you should let her. Nobody should have to get a restraining order because you can't get your shit together. Knuckleheads who think any woman deserves a bullet would be better served putting one between their own eyes. Or something.
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