Prince needs hip-replacement surgery. Figures. All those cold winters getting gorgeous, unsuspecting babes naked in Lake Minnetonka will shrink your balls and sockets after a while. These days, he's a reclusive, Target-shilling Jehovah's Witness whose songs have become far less appropriate for your "Bumpin' Uglies Mix". But keep in mind that this guy is still wildly prolific, criminally underrated as a guitarist, and was a swordsman of the highest order back in the day. Plus, he managed to make Minneapolis seem interesting for about six months. I think we should all chip in on getting the Purple One some new pins. After all, Prince (like his homeboy Jesus) would still Die 4 U.
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